Do you still have your period?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
