I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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