Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
