I think I died a long time ago.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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