Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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