I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
