I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
