And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
