she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
