The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
