Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
