There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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