Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
