My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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