I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
