glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
