i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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