You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
