Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
