he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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