yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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