Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
