I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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