so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
