do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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