Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

wrigley field is MILF paradise

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.

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(229): View more from Georgia

so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

(612): View more from Minnesota

Drunk you is pretty stunner.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife

(440): View more from Ohio

My tits sealed my fate

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(785): View more from Kansas

I stole an accordion from the bar

(785): View more from Kansas

Accidentally

(785): View more from Kansas

I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion

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(858): View more from California

I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.

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