someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
