She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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