I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
