In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
