Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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