we're blogging at a bar
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
