i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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