I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
