so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
