hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
