I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
