theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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