He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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