so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
