thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
