Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Found your dick twin last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
