I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
