i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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