i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
