She's JV to your varsity
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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