Sponge bath it is.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
