You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
