I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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