he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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