If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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